Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i will never coherently bang her
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
