There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
