I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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