pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
