Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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