She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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