he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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