they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
