My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
