Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize