...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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