Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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