There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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