i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
