I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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