I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
