I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
