if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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