Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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