Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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