So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize