yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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