Dual....:-)
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Nicole vs. Life
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
