You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
