we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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