i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
