i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
