Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I sprained my soul last night
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
