the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
