It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This house was built for laser tag.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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