I want to make a zoo with you.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
