I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
