He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
