just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
