I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
