billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i wish my penis had a tongue
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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