I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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