Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
