i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
