The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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