i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
