Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
