i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize