Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
