Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
