you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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