I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
