You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
