i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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