is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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