he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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