It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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