How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize