ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize