WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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