found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize