I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
