We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
