I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
