its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize