i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
