There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just google imaged poop.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
